Rules of Friendship

I've been thinking alot about friendship lately. I think having girlfriends to talk to, laugh with, and rely on is so important. In my life, I can count on one hand the number of people I've met who I just automatically "clicked" with (you know, kindred spirits) and became friends for life. These kinds of friends are few and far between, but I am so grateful for these relationships. Unfortunately, none of them live in the same state as me! Of course I have other friends that I really like, too, and enjoy being with and that I can see regularly. In my humble opinion, there are some "unspoken" rules about friendship, and being a friend. These rules will vary slightly depending on the kind of friendship you have...but I present my rules of friendship.


My friend Brooke and me, circa 2006

1. Every friendship must be a mutual, reciprocal relationship. It should not be one sided, with one person always initiating. Have you ever (thought you) had a friend who always seemed excited to get together when you called but never called you? If I'm trying to become better friends with someone, I will invite them to do something (come over for dinner, go shopping, etc.) but then I will wait for them to reciprocate before I invite them again. Maybe I'm wierd that way, but they have to want to be my friend, too. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

2. All people do and say things from time to time which they don't intend to be hurtful, but are. It is important to be forgiving and not get offended when this happens with a friend. I'm sure I've said many things that didn't come out the way I intended them! On the flip side, I've had good friends hurt my feelings but I've brushed these things off and moved on. No one is perfect, even in a close friendship.

3. Friends should try to acknowledge milestones and events in life, such as weddings, birthdays, graduations, children's births, etc. with a card, a phone call and/or sometimes a gift. This is especially important with long distance friends. However, if your friend forgets an occasion, see rule #2.

4. Friends keep confidences and don't gossip about you.

5. Real friendship is unconditional. It stays the same regardless of your appearance, bank account balance, address, trials and mistakes. Real friends stick around when things aren't always pretty and fun. True friendship is always the same, even if years go by without contact. You just pick up where you left off.

6. Friends are interested in and ask questions about your life, your kid, etc. They can tell when things really aren't going well. They listen when you need to talk. They tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it.

I am so grateful for friendship in my life. My friend Brooke and I (see picture above) met about 9 years ago while working at RCWilley (she introduced me to Brandon!). We clicked immediately, and have stayed in touch over the years. We've recently started talking often and it's so fun! She's definitely one of my kindred spirits.

Can you think of any rules I missed? Do you agree with my rules?