I am NOT Martha Stewart, and This Proves It

Last night for dinner I decided I would try out a new recipe I had for soup. I thought I would just make some of these to go with it:





The dough comes inside one of those pop out cans, where you pull the strip of paper and it's supposed to "POP" open. Well, it didn't pop. I tried sticking a spoon into the seam. That didn't work. I tried beating it on the side of the counter. That didn't work either. As a last resort, I decided to use a can opener and open the end of the tube. As soon as I had the end halfway off, all the dough started oozing out of the open portion and going everywhere and I couldn't finish the job. I got a knife and pried the rest of the lid off...and then reached into the can to pull out the dough. The can opener had left a sharp edge that cut my hand as I reached into the can. It didn't seem too bad, though, and I washed my hand and went back to work rolling out the dough on the cookie sheet. Just as I was about to put the breadsticks into the oven, I noticed little red spots all over the dough...yep, it was my blood. How gross is that? I immediately threw all the dough away. I was feeling really irritated at this point that I had just spent 20 minutes trying to make these supposedly "easy" breadsticks and now had nothing to show for it.


Neverthless, I put my chin up and went to work on the soup. I had tasted it a few months ago when a friend made it for a church activity and it was good and the recipe seemed so simple. Here's the recipe:

Black Bean Soup

2 cups black beans
1 can chicken broth
1 cup salsa
1 Tbsp. fresh, chopped cilantro
1/2 lime

1. Cook the salsa over medium heat for 5 minutes. Drain and rinse the beans and add to the salsa along with the chicken broth. Cook until it comes to a low bubble and then simmer for another 15 minutes.

2. Blend half of the soup using a handheld blender (or a regular blender works too-just be careful because the mixture is hot). Add the cilantro and the lime juice. Top with sour cream, cheese or tortilla chips. Enjoy!

That should be a no brainer, right? Well I had completed the stove portion of the recipe and poured the mixture into my blender (I don't have a handheld blender). I put the lid on and let 'er rip. The next thing I knew was that it was raining pureed black beans EVERYWHERE! The liquid hit my arms and I could feel it burning my skin. There was brown goo in my hair, on the floor, on the wall, all over my cookbooks, the microwave, the side of the fridge, the cabinets, my face and my shirt. ( My shirt looked like someone threw up on it.) I just stood there in shock, thinking "How did this happen? I know the lid was on!" At that very moment, Brandon walked in the door. He saw me and the mess and very wisely said "I'll start cleaning up." I decided to try and salvage what was still left in the blender, which was not much. I put the lid on again, held it down with my hand even, and turned the blender on. THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN! The lid shot off and even more brown goo went on every imaginable surface of my kitchen. At this point I was in tears. I wish I had taken a picture of the way me and the kitchen looked at this moment in time. Just imagine a bloody crime scene, where the blood is brown, and you've pretty much got it right.




Needless to say, we ate frozen pizza for dinner. Try this recipe at your own risk.

(P.S. Do any of you brainiacs know why this happened? I'm thinking it had something to do with the temperature of the liquid causing the blender lid to not create an airtight seal.)